Two Doxies Got Married and Here’s What Happened

Two Doxies Got Married and Here’s What Happened

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On a beautiful Sunday in August two adorable dachshunds got married in a small town named Gouda, The Netherlands.

Meet the groom, Wilhelm AKA Kaiser W.
Kaiser W
Kaiser W is a two year old beardless wirehaired doxie from Bielefeld, Germany. Kaiser W asked the gorgeous Tilda (AKA Queen T) to marry him a year ago.

Of course, Queen T said yes, and on August 23rd the day of the Royal Wedding had finally arrived. To see their carefully assembled Bridal Party, click here. Queen T is the most rebellious member of the unoffical Royal Dutch family. She is always partying, getting into trouble and has just recently finally stopped drinking too much EVERY night (she now limits herself to #SundayFunday). Everyone agreed that this girl needed some extra security during her wedding, so they hired these two:


As you can see, they passed out on the couch after chasing the lady doxies all night long. Queen T refused to pay them, stating: “I don’t pay dogs who act like men.”

At around 3PM, the wedding ceremony began. Right before the ceremony the bride and groom got into a fight involving Queen T’s favorite toy, so they refused to touch each other during this joyful event.

Neither of them felt like reading their vows so the wedding ceremony only took about 2 minutes, which the guests (all dog) thought was just wonderful. This guest in particular:


“You know, normally I’d say that I did not enjoy the wedding ceremony because it always takes too long. This wedding ceremony however was the best one I’ve been to yet. Short and powerful, not even a kiss. Pawfect!”

The dresscode for this wedding was ‘White Tie’. Queen T preferred ‘Wild Weens’ or ‘Tight and Flashy’, but Kaiser W pointed out that it was a royal wedding and Queen T finally gave in. But she should not have worried, because all the wedding guests still looked super hot. Here are a few of them:

“I ain’t get called hot dog for nothin’.”


“Pearls and booze: that’s mah game.”

“Weddings are lame, free food is not.”


“Shaken, not stirred.”

“Straight from the palace.” After a quick meal (doxies eat fast) it was time to cut the cake which Bob Marley had baked in his dog kitchen:

Bob Marley: “When Tilda asked me to bring a cake to her wedding, I was a bit afraid at first. I mean, dachshunds in the kitchen, you know how that goes. But in the end I only ate half the batter so I guess you could say it worked out pretty well!” After the cake cutting it was time for cocktails! While most dogs probably were not 21 in dog years, they sure were in human years. And oh boy, things got wild!

#TheRoyalDoxieWedding was a big success, thanks to all the wonderful guests! May the bride and groom live happily ever after!

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